This One About an Old Spider Friend Funny Thing About That Story
WARNING: Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies to Funny Moments pages. All spoilers will be unmarked!
Spider-Ham, Spider-Ham, friendly neighborhood Spider-Ham!
Spins a web, that's the gig! Kinda weird, 'cause he's a pig.
Look out, here comes the Spider-Ham!
To him...
Life is a plate of bacon!
When trouble's in the makin',
You'll find the Spider-Ham!
Spider-Ham: Two days? [laughs] I've been Spider-Ham thirty f***ing years!
- Spider-Man and Mary Jane's famous upside-down kiss...except it's MJ who's upside down this time around.
- Spider-Man has been a comic book, a cereal, a Christmas album, and a popsicle that's so malformed it looks more like Deadpool. What makes it better that the popsicle photo is taken by a person in 2008, and it was used with his permission.
- During the split-second Body Wipe brought about by Doc Ock slamming him into the wall, Spider-Man's head and eyes briefly take the exact shape and proportions of that deformed popsicle for a single frame.
- Look at the titles of some of the songs on the Christmas album. Some of the standouts are, "Silent Night (You're Welcome)", "Joy to the World (That I Just Saved)", "Ave Maria" appearing towards the end of the list, and "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Non-Denominational Holiday." Seriously.
- For bonus laughs, he sings one of the songs as the end of the credits.
Peter: [singing] Whyyyyy did I agree to do this stuuuupid song? I have a degree in chemical engineering.
- Even better is the full version that Sony released on YouTube, here
- The song Spidey Bells also has a very familiar refrain.
- We also see Peter's Old Shame in action. What is this, you might ask? The emo dance, this time in full costume.
- The scene from Spider-Man 2 where Peter saves Mary Jane from a thrown car plays out differently here. Not only is Peter dressed as Spider-Man, instead of saving Mary Jane by pulling her down to the floor, he turns around and punches the car away.
Miles: You miss me? I still live here. [beat] Wait, you miss me? [dorky grin on his face]
- When Jefferson adds more locations where Miles' put his stickers, he sighs in defeat before muttering that yeah, those were his.
Jefferson: Is that a coffee shop or a disco?
Miles: [beat] Dad, you're old, man.
Jefferson: You know, with great ability, come great accountability!
Miles: That's not even how the saying goes, Dad!
Jefferson: [not listening] Yeah, I do like his cereal though, I'll give him that.
- Miles rolling his eyes in exasperation as he tries to hide his face in his hands.
Jefferson: I love you, Miles.
Miles: Yeah, I know, dad. See you Friday.
[as Miles turns to walk into school, Jefferson sounds his police alarm and uses his police speakers to get Miles's attention]
Jefferson: You've got to say "I love you" back.
Miles: Dad, are you serious?
[Everyone around stops and looks at them]
Jefferson: I want to hear it.
Miles: You want to hear me say...
Jefferson: "I love you, dad".
Miles: You're dropping me off at school...
Jefferson: "I love you, dad".
Miles: Look at this place.
Jefferson: "Dad, I love you".
Miles: [sighs] Dad, I love you.
Jefferson: That's a copy. Tie your shoes, please.
Miles: Oh, oh my gosh! This is embarrassing, we wore the same jacket!
- Then a girl talks to him, but she just points out that his shoe laces were untied.
Miles: Yeah, I'm aware... it's a choice.
- Comes with some added Fridge Funny: Gwen is at the school to find Miles because her Spider Sense told her to, even though him getting his powers and the event that brought her to this universe haven't happened yet. Due to time being relative, she is early.
- When they're chatting at their desks, Gwen tells him that she liked his joke, but not because it was funny.
- When Miles gets his test back, on which he purposefully scored a 0/100, we see that he wrote down the date as Decembuary 2. We know this is an alternate universe with huge inflation and alternate brand names, and Alternate Calendar is a trope, and is nothing funny in itself. However a later scene shows a poster with the date given as December 17, which means that aside from answering every question incorrectly on purpose, he also wrote the month name wrong to sell the teacher on him being dumber than he is.
Miles: You serious, uncle Aaron?
Aaron: I'm telling you, man, it's science!
Aaron: [laughing] You sure you're my nephew, man?
Miles: [recovering] What's up?
Aaron: [laughing] Yeah man, I knew we were related.
- This is after a long, iconic sequence of the spider biting him and the injected venom changing his blood cells. And the intense music during this suddenly stops.
- Also, the way the spider, the very mutant spider that just so granted Miles his life-changing powers that course through his very veins, is unceremoniously swatted dead by an unimpressed Miles.
- This was also a big Bait-and-Switch for anyone who'd read Miles' origin story in the comics, where being bitten by the spider not only freaked him out completely, it made him pass out while foaming at the mouth.
- Also an awesome moment for Miles, because most people would not be that casual about being bitten by a spider a little smaller than a dinner plate.
Miles: [gasps] I think I hit puberty!
[cut to Ganke's reaction before he shakes it off and returns to his laptop]
Miles: [thinking] I should have kept that to myself.
Miles: [thinking] Why am I so sweaty??
Gwen: Why are you so sweaty?
Miles: [chuckling] It's a puberty thing. [beat] I don't know why I said that. I'm not going through puberty! I mean, I did, but I'm done, [deeper voice] I'm... a man.
Miles: [thinking] Am I doing this in slow-motion or does it just feel that way?
- His inner thoughts are too preoccupied to hear Gwen rambling off excuses for her name and then he decides to do the shoulder-touch his uncle taught him. Needless to say, it ends up being awkward for the teens and hilarious for the audience.
Miles: [in a deep voice] Hey.
Gwen: [beat] Okay, then uh... I'll see you around?
"Gwanda": I'm Gweeeeeeee-Waaaanda?
- She then claims that the name is African — quickly amending that to South African — and that she doesn't have an accent because she was raised in the states.
- While this is happening, Miles is barely paying attention because he's thinking about doing the shoulder touch technique his uncle taught him. When he finally does try, his fingers end up sticking to her hair and he can't get them out, resulting in them creating quite a scene in the middle of the school.
- Gwen gets horrified by one of Miles' ideas of simply pulling his hand as hard as he can. Especially since she would be aware it's caused by spider powers of superhuman strength.
- They eventually cut the affected hair off, leaving a handprint in her hair.
- While Miles has to contend with a hairy palm.
Miles: It's just puberty.
- Not to mention that this is what leads to her Delinquent Hair, rather than the implied rock-and-roller style glimpsed in the trailers.
Security: I know you snuck out last night, Morales.
Miles: [thinking] Play dumb. [out loud] Who's Morales? [thinking] Not that dumb!
Miles: Stop sticking! [falls out the window with his feet sticking the wall] Keep sticking, Miles!
- During his time stuck in the guard's office, he accidentally plays a song from the Spider-Man Christmas album. Hearing it outside, the guard tries to backpedal when he notices other kids are around him:
Security: [sheepish] He's got a nice voice.
Peter: Norman, listen to me. I cannot let you open a portal to another dimension. Brooklyn is not zoned for that.
Green Goblin: It's not up to me. Why won't you quit?!
Peter: I guess I like Brooklyn not being sucked up into a black hole. Staten Island, maybe. Not Brooklyn.
Peter: You know your shoes are untied.
Miles: [Beat] Uh-huh.
Peter: This is a onesie so I don't really have to worry about it.
Peter: Are you mad at me? I feel like you're mad at me."
Cashier: I'm gonna miss him. We were friends, you know.
Miles: [examining the costume] What if it doesn't fit?
Cashier: It always fits. Eventually. [smiles... before panning slightly over to a sign reading "NO RETURNS OR REFUNDS. EVER.", prompting a devious twinkle]
- Next to the giant NO REFUNDS sign is an ad for a Hero Guy costume, featuring a decidedly non Heroic Build guy in the most hilariously generic superhero outfit you can imagine.
Miles: They're counting on me...
Bystander: Probably not you specifically, I think it's a metaphor.
- This is accompanied by an opening narration that lampshades how many times they've seen Peter's story.
Peter: My name is Peter B. Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last 22 years, I thought I was the one and only Spider-Man. Pretty sure you know the rest.
- In the full movie, this is accompanied with a montage of the rest of his life, plus a scene where if you pause as the bus hits Peter, Tombstone is driving it with an ad on the side that reads, "Have a nice day!" The montage also includes his marriage to Mary Jane, and their subsequent divorce. But he totally bounced back.
- If you look closely, you can even see a soggy slice of pizza on the lip of the bathtub.
- It turns out that Peter made an unwise investment in a Spider-Man themed restaurant (TGI Spidey's!) which folded. He warns Miles not to do the same, as it resulted in Peter losing a lot of money and explains why he's living in a crappy apartment post-divorce.
- There's also the blink-and-you'll-miss-it Black Comedy portion of the montage: The breakneck Smash Cut from Peter's details of his exploits as Spider-Man to a forlorn Peter standing in front of Aunt May's grave, dropping the bouquet of flowers he left there. With heroic music still blaring in the background.
- After mentioning his divorce, Peter breaks off his run-down of his life to go on a long tangent about watching a show on seahorses and learning that they mate for life, and just imagining what it must be like to be a seahorse seeing another seahorse and knowing you're just going to make it work. The projection is sad and hilarious at once because he's desperately trying to convince the viewer it's completely unrelated to his hangups over losing MJ and failing spectacularly.
- More hilarious than sad when you consider he probably doesn't know yet that, aside from mating for life, the males are the ones responsible for children.
- He then adds after saying flashforward that he did half-crunches and push-ups to stay strong. However, the camera clearly shows that Peter went overboard with his Comfort Food and has a large gut. When he notices his ceiling glitching out, he tries to continue eating his pizza, but even that glitches out of his hand to his confusion. He fails to take the slice with him when he gets sucked out of his dimension as he attempts to web it, but the portal closes as soon as the slice is brought upward, hitting the ceiling.
- In case that wasn't clear, a weird hole just appeared above Peter B's ceiling and is sucking him through it, and all he can think of is finishing his pizza. Either he's so used to danger that eating is more important, or something like this has happened before and he knows he'd better get a snack in before getting dragged along another crazy adventure on an empty stomach.
- The Japanese dub adds an extra layer of funny thanks to Mamoru Miyano sounding like he gagged at the "B" in Peter's name.
- Both versions also seemingly sound like they're Corpsing for real at the sight of Peter sleeping with his butt in the air.
- When Peter B. looks up to see the notice about his other self's death, the ticker underneath shows "Bitcoin hits new high", followed immediately by "Bitcoin hits new low". Some things never change no matter what universe you're in.
- Peter and MJ getting divorced is funny in a meta way when one remembers the controversial One More Day. Joe Quesada stated that they went this direction because "getting a divorce would make Spider-Man feel old". Yet somehow performing a Deal with the Devil was the right thing to do.
Peter B.: [narrating] I was in New York but things were different. Also, I was dead... and blonde. I was kind of... perfect. It was like looking in a mirror.
- As he said this, he pulls his mask off, providing a contrast between the currently face-injured Peter B. and the clean-faced Peter that just died.
Miles: Alright. Thanks, New York.
- One moment of exceptionally dark humor is the lead-in to them being pulled across the city by the train. As they're being dragged along, Peter regains consciousness just in time to see his own grave speeding towards him.
- Special mention to those very confused officers who get a report about "a child dressed like Spider-Man dragging a homeless corpse behind a train".
- At one point they bounce off the roof of a cop car... just as the cops are hearing about the alert on the radio. Their look at each other sells it.
- Afterwards they crash into a snowman, with Peter getting the smiling head stuck on his own. They then hit a bus and slowly get dragged along the windows, Miles giving the confused passenger a little "Sup" nod as the snowman's smile gradually morphs into a frown.
Miles: Why's your hair different? Why are you older, and why is your body... [stares at Peter's bulging gut] a-a different shape?
Peter: [grumpily] Pretty sure you just called me fat.
Miles: No!
Peter: Hey, you don't look so hot either, kid. Most superheroes don't wear their own merch!
Miles: Are you a ghost?
Peter B.: No.
Miles: Are you a zombie?
Peter B.: Stop it.
Miles: [worryingly looking at his own hand] Am I a zombie??
Peter B: You're not even close.
Miles: Are you from another dimension? Like a parallel universe where things are like this universe but different? And you're Spider-Man in that universe? But somehow travelled to this universe, but you don't know how?
Peter B.: [impressed] Wow. That was really just a guess?
Miles: Well, we learned about it in physics.
Peter B.: Quantum theory.
Peter B.: Did you break this?
Miles: No, it... broke. I don't remember what happened.
Peter B.: [pulls at his face in frustration] This is why I never had kids, this is why I never did that!
Miles: Making you feel guilty. ...Is it working?
- And the best part? It totally works. Even knowing he's being played, Peter's inherent good nature combined with his sense of responsibility overwhelm his cynicism, to the point he literally yells into the crook of his arm in frustration.
Peter B.: [muffled] HRRRAAGGH!!! NO! NONONONO! DO NOT! LET HIM! WIN!
[beat]
Peter B.: ...Alright kid, you win. - Also adding to it is that Peter pretends to ignore him and keeps pacing back and forth between just ignoring this kid who's giving him Puppy-Dog Eyes and trying to get home and he's clearly at war with himself the whole time before he relents.
- Another funny moment here, is the fact that Peter calls the USB key a goober — reason being is that he's had to use so many override keys, bypass keys, you name it, to the point where he won't remember what it is, so he just calls it a "goober". Made even funnier later on, when other characters call it that too.
Peter: You have money, right? I'm not very liquid right now.
Miles: ...anything else?
Peter: Nope. That's it. Hey, are you gonna eat that? [steals Miles' burger]
Miles: [beat] I think you're gonna be a bad teacher.
Miles: Hey, Peter. I think this is a cape.
- And of course, those who remember Spider-Man 2099's original costume and Spider-Man Unlimited are chuckling to themselves at this.
- In actuality, it is a Mythology Gag for "What if Spider-Man never became a crime fighter?"
-
Peter: [thinking] What would I do if I were me...
- Miles wants to learn everything about being Spider-Man from Peter, and he adorably shows this by mimicking Peter when he strokes his chin in contemplation.
- Some bits of the Imagine Spot of Peter's planned break-in to Alchemax.
- Step two is to find the head scientist, there's an accompanying visual of Spider-Man spying on a man, only for Miles to tell him that the woman with the bike is the head scientist. Peter hastily amends step three to, "Re-examine my personal biases."
- Step six is stealing a bagel from the cafeteria. Then escaping.
- Miles grumbling at why he got stuck with the "janky, old, broke Hobo-Spider-Man" and hits a rock in his frustration, causing it to split where his fist impacted. He's mildly impressed.
- Miles climbing through the vents to try and find Peter. He ends up running into his butt.
- Peter's hand miming the villains conversation from below the vent with a bored expression. He then explains to Miles that everything up 'til now is the usual Spider-Man schtick and even predicts what's going to happen next.
Peter: Watch this, he's going to say, "You got twenty-four hours."
Kingpin: You got twenty-four hours!
[Peter winks at Miles] - Peter trying to help Miles unstick, but it just makes the young man even more nervous. Peter even looks up to the side at one point with boths of his arms in a position that just screams, "Why does this always happen to me?"
Peter: Just relax, be in the moment!
Miles: I am in the moment! It's a terrible moment! [their silhouettes through the window are frantically squirming around while the villains are busy talking] - Miles has trouble getting unstuck from the ceiling, and when Peter tells him to just try and do what he does to relax, Miles starts poorly singing Post Malone's Sunflower, to Peter's chagrin. And when he finally gets unstuck in the middle of a verse, Miles botches the landing hard.
Peter: [slumping his shoulders after Miles falls] Teenagers are just the worst.
- Another added layer of funny, given Spider-Man is the original Kid Hero.
- And Peter is just sitting there...
- Miles and Peter discovers that Miles can turn invisible, and Peter says that it could be like a fight-or-flight response. Miles asks what that is and, they see a shadowy-figure coming towards the lab they were hiding in. Cue Miles disappearing in a heartbeat.
- Peter managed to look at the computer's password from the vent then later recites it to Miles so he can search it. Its length is ridiculously long.
- Doc Ock excitedly examining Peter, after he tries to "turn on the charms", which doesn't grab her attention at all. She notes that not only is he a Peter Parker from a different universe, but he appears to have a gut, poking at his stomach (BLORP). She hypothesizes that his shape could be different due to the dimensional warping.
Peter: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was way flatter before I warped.
- When Doc Ock grabs his face to further examine his features:
Peter: [slightly squished] Okay, that's m'face.
- Invisible Miles does manage to almost type it in while Peter is distracting Ock. But he forgets the end bit and turns the monitor around to show Peter. He then hides the final part in his talk with Ock.
Peter: Hey, how old are you? 'Cause, you don't look a day over thirty-five!
- Then Miles finds a really messy desktop with hundreds of scattered files and folders. Running out of time, he decides to take the whole computer with him.
Miles: [whispering] Organize your desktop, lady!
- After the Oh, Crap! moment when Peter realizes he's talking to an alternate version of his long time enemy, he nervously jokes out that her friends call her 'Doc Ock', Olivia actually says her friends call her 'Liv'...and that her enemies call her Doc Ock.
- There's something mildly amusing about Doc Ock of all people having a yoga ball for an office chair.
- Peter trying to reassure Miles that everything was fine and he has the situation handled as Doc Ock is easily thrashing him around like a rag doll with glee while wondering who Peter is talking too.
Peter: [using the yoga ball as a shield] In the moment that I'm losing the fight!
- Peter congratulates Miles on stealing the computer. Then points out that they don't need the monitor.
- When the two move through the cafeteria, Peter tells Miles to act normal by selecting a bagel. It doesn't take long for them to get found out. You know, because they're still dressed as Spider-Man.
Peter: Bud, this would be a good to turn invisible.
Miles: [meekily] Yup...
Peter: OK, not gonna turn invisible? Selecting a bagel. Act super normal.
Alchemax Worker: Spider-Man?
Peter: You know, it's funny, I get that a lot.
Miles: Hey.
[all the Alchemax workers immediately pull out laser guns]
Peter: Okay, now time to do the switchy-switchy. [gives Miles the bagel while he takes the computer]
Alchemax Worker: Get back here! Where do you think you're going?! HE TOOK A BAGEL! - As all of the Alchemax scientists whip out their guns, one scientist just looks down at their table in defeat like they were thinking, "Can't I just peacefully have my coffee without having to fight off Spider-Man?" And before that, you can see her pour an entire container of sugar into her coffee.
- The two run out onto a balcony immediately after this, and Miles actually throws his bagel at one of the employees. It beans him right in the head with a "BAGEL!" sound effect.
- Peter instructs Miles to swing "just like I taught you", while the two are escaping, and when Miles asks when he ever taught him that, Peter replies that it was a little joke for team building. Miles, on the other hand...
- Miles slamming into a tree while web-swinging with Peter in the trailer. Decidedly less so in the movie, where they're under fire from Alchemax agents.
- As Doc Ock is chasing Miles, he still hasn't figure out how to swing, with Peter beginning to panic with his instructions and ends up yelling, "Then stop listening to me!"
Miles: That's the best idea you've had all day!
- Peter instructing Miles on how to swing from a web makes him sound like a game tutorial.
Peter: Double-tap to release, and then thwip it out again!
Miles: Gwanda?
Gwen: It's Gwen, actually.
Peter: Oh ho, you know her? Very cool.
Miles: [nervously] I like your haircut?
Gwen: [angrily] You don't get to like my haircut.
Miles: How many spider-people are there?
Peter: [rolling his eyes] Save it for Comic-Con.
Miles: What's Comic-Con?
Peter: Let's go! [web-yanks Miles]
Gwen: He broke this?
Miles: Yeah, he's actually kind of embarrassed about it. So let's keep it between us.
Gwen: [giggling] Well, I know a place where we can fix it, and we won't let him break it this time.
Aunt May: You look older. [opens Peter's coat] And thicker.
Peter: Yeah, I heard that already.
Aunt May: [looks down] Oh geez, are those sweatpants?
Spider-Man Noir: Where I go the wind follows... And the wind? It smells like rain.
- Noir in general gets lots of Black Comedy, or coming off sounding like a teen edgelord. Especially since it's Nic Cage's voice coming out of his mouth.
Spider-Ham: It can get weirder. [extends his hand while being sopping wet] I just washed my hands. That's why they're wet! No other reason...
- Peter's reaction is to tilt his head back in a way that says, "I really need to keep my mouth shut..."
- Freeze-Frame Bonus, look down at Peter's feet and you see that he's wearing mismatched shoes.
- In Noir's dimension, it's 1933, and he's a private eye. He likes to drink eggcreams and he likes to fight Nazis. A lot.
- He interrupts Peni's introduction by going from her talking about how she and her spider are BFFs to...
Spider-Man Noir: Sometimes I let matches burn all the way to my fingertips just to feel something! Anything! [match burns out] Aww...
- The visual for this line has him burning a match between his fingers only for it to go out before reaching the tips and SMN giving a OOC comical look of disappointment.
- Most of Spider-Ham's backstory involves a lot of canine puns.
Spider-Ham: I'm a photographer for the Daily Beagle! When I'm not pooching around, I'm working like a dog, trying to sniff out the latest story! I frolic, and I dance, and I do this with my pants and I—
Peter: [pushes the flashback down] Okay, enough! - The thing Spider-Ham does with his pants is that he pulls his pants over his head and pushes his snout through his pants. It, uh, looks exactly like what you think it looks like.
- They also get asked how they came here but reply that It's a Long Story. Then the Super-Collider causing dimensional distortions scene that was seen several times already happens again anyway, with the three entering Miles's dimension, but sped up to an instant before smacking into a Jumbotron like Peter did. They add that the story wasn't so long after all.
Peter: But he can do so much more, like, what else can you do?
Miles: Just those two things.
Peter: Just those two things!
Spider-Man Noir: OK, little fella, Kingpin's gonna send a lot of mugs after ya, I'm talking hard boys, real biscuit boxers. Can you fight them all off at once?
Miles: [with his fists up] Uh, I don't know, I've never actually fought anyone—
Spider-Man Noir: Surprise attack! [Swipes Miles' legs]
Peni: Can you rewire a mainframe while being shot at? [throws a motherboard at Miles]
Miles: Can I what?
Peni: SHOW ME!
Spider-Man Noir: Surprise attack! [punches Miles]
- They soon start getting a little out of hand.
- The fact that Aunt May is willing to take a lighthearted jab at her dead nephew is comedy of a different kind. That, or she's using Peter B. as a substitute... which considering she's dead in his universe is also Black Comedy.
Noir: This is...purple?
Spider-Ham: No.
Noir:...Blue?
Spider-Ham: No.
SP//dr: ^_^
- A Funny Background Event during that scene involves Peni rolling in on wheelies and giving Peter B. the goober with a ridiculous anime girl smile. According to the commentary, this was done because the scene wasn't long enough for Peni to actually walk into the room and give the goober to Peter B.
- It's just funny to think that wheelies would still be a thing even in the year 3145.
- Note that Noir in the comics probably has the darkest origin story of any of the other Spider-People. His uncle was cannibalized, he watched someone get eaten alive by spiders, got his mentor murdered, and had his best friend lobotomized by a Nazi. If anyone knows a hardcore origin story, it's him.
- Remember, Doc Ock said earlier that only her friends call her "Liv". May, is there something you wanna tell us?
- This probably counts as a Mythology Gag to Silver Age Spidey comics, in which Ock rented a room at Aunt May's house, fell in love with her and nearly married her. May was consistently charmed and remained close friends with Ock even into the contemporary comics.
- I'm sorry, did you say "fell in love with her and nearly married her"?
Spider-Man Noir: We don't pick the ballroom, we just dance.
Scropion: [Bring It gesture to Miles] Stand, ninito, dale.
Miles: [deep voice] Preparete a morir. [beat] Aw, man! Stupid pillows!
Aunt May: I said take it outside!
- Spider-Ham wasn't just smashing a plate on his head for comedic effect. He wanted to use a shard to make a shiv!
Miles: Hey there...
Spider-Ham: Do animals talk in this dimension? 'Cause I don't wanna freak him out. [Ganke promptly faints]
- Because a talking pig wearing a Spider-Man costume probably wouldn't, at the least, confuse him...
- During this scene, Peni (whose Spider-powers are from her currently-unavailable mech) is awkwardly smushed between Gwen and Miles while Spider-Ham cartoonishly goes from being next to Spider-Man Noir to next to Spider-Gwen every time they change positions.
- You might also notice that Peni is not only staring at Ganke the most during this, but she's also blushing like mad. She even gives a brief grin before they start moving.
- This becomes even funnier when you consider that Spider-Ham is played by John Mulaney, who once asked "why do people shush animals? They've never spoken."
- The comic Ganke is reading is a What If? expy proposing the concept of multiple Spider-Men.
- Not to mention the song Ganke was listening to amusingly fitting the scene.
Who that thing in the air?
- Everyone's reaction to the Spider-Man-themed gala that disguising Kingpin's plans?
- Gwen shows her offense as Kingpin talks about how "close" he and Spider-Man were.
- Noir sees that the waiters are wearing Spider-Man masks and bowties.
- And that's all they disguise themselves with, by the way. Just the bowties. And only one of them is wearing the appropriate Spider-Man costume.
- Noir even managed to find a white bowtie, to stand out from his all-black outfit.
- Since she doesn't have a suit, Peni stays inside SP//dr and hides underneath a serving table, moving alongside the table and eating candy as the others push it. Likewise, a deleted scene showed that Spider-Ham was hiding inside a cloche.
Peter B.: I'm just, uh... I'm really sorry.
MJ: Oh, don't be sorry, it's just bread.
Peter B.: I wasn't there for you when you needed me.
MJ: [clearly confused] Mm-hmm?
Peter B.: I didn't even try!
MJ: That's fine; y'know I should really get going—
Peter B.: I know I could do better! If I just had another chance to give you, uh... the... bread... that you deserve...
- Unintentional or not, this whole conversation becomes even funnier when remembering that one of the reasons Peter and MJ split is that he didn't want kids. An idiom for pregnancy is having a "bun in the oven."
- This also involves the dining cart, where SP//dr is hiding under, being moved while Peter B. contemplates MJ. Must have been weird for those two...
Peter: [choking] Can I get a minute to think about it? You got a pen?
Noir: You gonna fight or you just bumping gums you hard boiled turtle slapper?!
- Maybe coincidental, but this cross actor allusion territory a little: Scorpion is voiced by Joaquin Cosio, and one of the most known characters he has played is "El Cochiloco" in the mexican movie El Infierno (Hell, 2010). The kicker? The english translation of "Cochiloco" (contraction of "Cochino" and "Loco") is "Crazy Pig", and just look who gave Scorpion an awesome lesson of cartoon physics...
- The anvil he used on Scorpion also reappears at the end of Miles and Kingpin's fight when it's the last thing to hit the Collider before it explodes.
- Additionally, Peter's shocked expression following her sudden exit. It's very reminiscent of Deadpool.
Peter B.: We taught him that, right?
Gwen: I didn't teach him that. And you definitely didn't.
- Before that, Spider-Ham leaves Miles his parting gift: a cartoon hammer, which he claims can fit in his pocket. ...Hey, wait a minute!
- To make it even funnier, we don't see the mallet again after he hands it to Miles, so apparently it really did fit in Miles' pocket.
- One could even say that it became a national treasure.
Spider-Gwen: [laughs] You know I'm older than you. Fifteen months, but it's pretty significant if you ask me.
Miles: Well, Einstein said time was relative, right?
Spider-Gwen: [laughs] Nice...
- Also, he talks to his dad using a deep voice and an exaggerated accent. When he hugs him, all Jefferson can do is awkwardly hug back, probably wondering why Spider-Man is hugging him.
Classic Spidey: Whoa! What the —?
Miguel: I'm Spider-Man. I need you to come with me.
Classic Spidey: Who the heck are you?
Miguel: I — I just told you that — Listen, listen: I'm from the future.
Classic Spidey: How dare you point at me?
Miguel: You — you were pointing first!
Classic Spidey: It's rude to point!
Miguel: You're being very rude! You're not even believing what I'm saying, you're saying I'm not who I say I am when I tell you who I am —
Police Officer: Which one pointed first?
Jameson: Spider-Man pointed first, obviously!
Miguel: — You're pointing at me right now, as you say that! Look at you! Look at your finger! Look at your finger right now! What you're doing! You're pointing! YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF POINTING WHILE YOU'RE—!
Classic Spidey: [at the same time] I'm not pointing, you're pointing! I'm just pointing at your pointing, which is different than normal pointing! You haven't seen pointing until I'm through with you, and then you'll know—
THE END
- Even more hilarious is the Limited Animation of that universe kicks in, leading to a temper-tantrum throwing Miguel hopping in place as he's arguing with Classic Spidey.
- Even more, even more hilarious is that they got Oscar Isaac, one of the most charismatic and gifted performers of his generation, to be Miguel's voice actor. You can tell the producers had a lot of fun making this movie when they went out of their way to cast him just for this ridiculous joke bit.
- There's also the bit where Miguel goes "Let's start at the beginning... one last time." When he said "at the beginning one last time", he meant at the beginning, one last time.
- There is something oddly hilarious that, while all of the other Spideys had Origin Story flashbacks, Miguel simply just shows up without showing one.
- The script outright calls the scene "the most expensive dumb joke of all time."
- The script also just refers to the '60s characters as "Meme Spider-Man" "Meme Jameson" and "Meme Police Officer".
- By the way, right before he jumps universes when Lyla tells him that he's late, Miguel retorts that he was only gone for less than two hours. The film is one hour, fifty-six minutes, and forty-nine seconds long, or less than two hours.
- When Tombstone stops the gang, Peter B. starts putting his fists up, and Gwen pushes them down. While Noir tries to make small talk, Peter raises his fists again, and Gwen pushes them again without even looking his way.
- Tombstone lifts up the cloche the group is carting around, revealing that Spider-Ham is indeed hiding inside it, naked except for his mask and with an apple in his mouth. While Tombstone laughs about how even the pig dinner has a Spider-Man mask on, Spider-Ham coughs up the apple and quickly shoves it back in before anyone notices. Followed by this exchange:
Tombstone: I don't eat pork.
Spider-Ham: You don't deserve pork! [Gwen hastily covers him up with the cloche] - The end of the scene.
Tombstone: Right through there. Have fun.
[the Spider-Gang exits the room as Tombstone pulls out a phone]
Tombstone: Yeah, they think we're dumb.
[cut to the Spider-Gang tossing off their bowties]
Peter B.: Oh, they are dumb.
Gwen: They are so dumb!
- The ultra-cheerful and cheesy Spidey Bells suddenly breaks into Miles' Peter being depressingly contemplative about the direction of his life and whether or not he's becoming a cheap sellout, along with regretting what he's done before suddenly jumping back to being cheerful. The whiplash is so sudden and out-of-there for the "Perfect" Peter that it's depressingly hilarious.
Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
Is this who I've become?
Selling out my good name
For an impulse-buy album
Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
I'm filled with deep regret
I'm canceling this song's release
For the press I get - "Joy to the World (That I Just Saved)" has Miles wishing that he could get paid for his hero work. At the end of his song, he even quickly throws in a GoFundMe website link to help pay for the manufacturing costs of his web fluid.
And literally I don't get paid
Kinda weird that I don't get paid
I make my own web fluid
AND IT'S NOT FREE! OKAY!?- By the way, someone actually created the page (the funds are donated to Puerto Rico hurricane relief).
- Peter B.'s rendition of "Deck the Halls" is a recording done at a live lounge show, and he proceeds to bomb hard while embarrassing Mary Jane along the way.
Peter B.: One take! What I'd tell ya?
- 1960s cartoon Spider-Man reads "The Night Before Christmas"; halfway through the poem, he gets bored and decides to skip right to the end. The track ends with him talking about how he's still nursing a hangover from last night's Christmas party.
Earth-67 Spider-Man: Threw up on the train tracks on 34th. Kids saw me, and... NOT A GOOD LOOK FOR SPIDER-MAN. *coughs* Anyway... not still recording, are you?
- The fact we have freaking Ghost Rider voicing a version of Spider-Man is its own brand of comedy.
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Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/SpiderManIntoTheSpiderVerse
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